It's so hot that...

· the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

· the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

· farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

· the cows are giving evaporated milk.

· the trees are whistling for the dogs.

· you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

· you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good    branding iron.

· the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

· you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

· it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

· you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

· you realize that asphalt has a liquid state