Valentine’s Day Humor

It is amazing how punctuation can change a meaning. Here is a phrase, and look how the meaning changes:

"woman without her man is nothing"

From one perspective: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

From another perspective: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

 

Top Ten Worse Valentine’s Day Gifts For Her

 

10. Anything that looks like you won it at the fair.

9. Anything that you bought from the dollar store with the receipt attached.

10. Singing Big Mouth Billy Bass.

11. Monster Truck Rally Tickets.

12. A Football.

13. Anything too small.

14. Cooking a romantic dinner with Spam or Vienna Sausage.

15. The Best of the Three Stooges video series.

16. Pots, pans, vacuum cleaner, or anything that involves manual labor.

17. Nothing.  Even if she says, “Don’t get me anything,” get her something.

 

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend? 
"Be my valenstein!"

What do you call a very small valentine? 
A valentiny!

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
"I've got a crutch on you!"