Springtime Humor

What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose.

I think, therefore I Yam.
-  Ratbert

I bought an ant farm.  I don't know where I am 
going to get a tractor that small!
-   Steven Wright
Text Box: What what can you make from baked beans and onions? Tear gas.

A perfect spring day is when the sun is shining,
the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing,
and the lawn mower is broken.
-   James Dent

 
Text Box: Where did the vegetables go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar.

Funny Bloopers From Church Newsletters
Where's The Proofreader?!

¨ Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary         Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

¨ Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

¨ Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

¨ Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.

¨ At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

¨ Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

¨ For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery         downstairs.

¨ This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

¨ Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

¨ The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!"